it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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