i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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