well I can't set my house on fire every night
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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