And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
She's JV to your varsity
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
Randomize