I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
