I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Randomize
