Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
