Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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