Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
he told me I talked like a deaf person
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
