You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
