Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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