Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Randomize
