"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
We're too hungover to prance.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
