Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Those nachos came to me in a dream
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
