I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Randomize
