he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
