I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
