i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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