I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
