4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
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I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
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you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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