He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
My vagina is officially offended.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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