I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
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I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
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Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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