Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
