Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
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