We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
