then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Just invented taco cereal.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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