I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Apparently blowing a .28 for a cop and then kissing her on the mouth is technically assaulting a police officer. Who knew.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
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