I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
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