Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
it was like eating out sand paper
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
