My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
