Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
