Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
