She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
