It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
