I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
