Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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