Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
