im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
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