Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
