Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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