never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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