No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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