Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
