his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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