I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
Randomize
