I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
Ketchup is God's man juice
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
