I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
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