no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Randomize
