these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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