Jerry, you need to find god
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize