I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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