going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
