Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
