tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
