just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
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I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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