Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
