i would punch a child for taco bell
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
