How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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