I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
tell me about the eggs
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
