the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
