dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
