well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
