How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
